I guess I am going to come back. One update every other week or something. I don't know. When the uploader stops being a dick, I will post again. XD

http://pawnshop-heart.xanga.com/

My personal blog. Sub/friend!

I'd post ALL of them but freakin' Xanga is being a douche.

Anyway...personal stuff:

Nothing happened the way I wanted it to when I was on "vacation". I dropped the ball, shut down and let nerves get to me. It happened to him, too. And, though I kind of knew that nothing would happen right now, I didn't want there to be a door slammed on us ever being together. It wasn't slammed shut, which is something I guess I can be thankful for. We were put in each other's path for a reason. Maybe it's to make each other better people, to be friends first and then, maybe once we are in places we both want, who knows? The future is full of surprises.

Like last night.

I hung out with my ex boyfriend and let him go down on me for a while. I feel like a whore for that because I know he wants to be with me and I don't want to be with him. Just kind of wanted to be out of my thoughts for a while and, while that did the trick, this morning was all awkward and weird.

Oh well.

I guess that is what happens sometimes.